The Mystery of Marriage
Ephesians 5:22-33
Main Idea: Marriage is a profound mystery pointing us to the ultimate marriage of Christ and the church.
I. Appreciating the Mystery (5:30-32)
Marriage is a “profound (lit. ‘mega’) mystery” that reveals to us something of eternal significance. We must appreciate both the design and the destination for marriage if we are to understand this mystery.
1. The Design of Marriage (Gen. 2:18-25)
In the Garden of Eden, God sees that “it is not good” that Adam is alone, so he creates Eve, a “helper fit for him” (2:18)
“Helper” does not imply inferiority; this term is most used of God himself in the OT and the Holy Spirit in the NT. The original marriage had a design of “head” (Eph. 5:23) and “helper.”
“Fit” speaks to the complementary relationship between the man and the woman; they were equal but not equivalent or interchangeable. Adam and Eve needed one another as essential partners to fulfill the mandates from the Lord.
Ultimately, the design of marriage was not meant to culminate with Adam and Eve, but with Christ’s love for the church. We must think of marriage today in light of the eternal love story of Christ for his bride.
“Every time a bride and a groom stand there and take their vows, they are reenacting the biblical love story, whether they realize it or not. The Son of God stepping down out of eternity, entering time, taking on flesh, pursuing and winning his bride as his very heart and body with his inmost, sincerest love so that he can fit her to be with him forever above – that dramatic super-reality is the breathtaking reason why human marriage exists.” ~ Ray Ortlund
2. The Destination of Marriage (Rev. 19:6-9, 21:1-2)
“The echoes of Genesis 2 are unmistakable. Again, we see God bringing a bride to her husband, only this time the husband is Jesus and we are the bride. In that first marriage, Adam failed to step in and help his wife when she needed him. But at the end of time there will be another wedding, the wedding supper of the Lamb, and its purpose is also to fill the world with children of God. It will succeed where the first marriage failed because, while the first husband in history failed, the Second Husband did not. The true Adam, Jesus Christ, will never fail his spouse, the Second Eve, his church.” ~ Tim Keller
II. Inhabiting the Mystery (5:22-29, 33)
With the foundation of this “mystery” revealed to us in Christ, we can make more sense of the exhortations Paul gives to both wives and husbands:
1. Wives (5:22-24): submit to your own husbands as to the Lord
3 notes on this exhortation:
This is not based on “traditionalism” or cultural constructs, but is consistently affirmed as God’s good design for marriage (cf. Col. 3:18, 1 Pet. 3:1)
This is voluntary posture, not under compulsion, for a specific context: wives to your own husbands, not women (in general) to men (in general)
This is an expression of obedience to the Lord (“as to the Lord”) and respect (5:33) for her husband
Philippians 2:3–7: Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves… Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.
2. Husbands (5:25-29): love your wives (3x)
Paul gives two analogies to explain what this love should look like:
Love your wife as Christ loves the church (5:25-27); this posture is marked by 4 verbs: give yourself up, sanctify, cleanse, and present. Husbands should love their wives in such a way that they are more like Christ, preparing for the day when we will be glorified in splendor.
“How does Christ love and lead his church? He does so by laying down his own life to the point of crucifixion. A husband’s leadership is about a special accountability for sabotaging his own wants and appetites with a forward-looking plan for the best interests of his wife and children. Headship is not about having one’s laundry washed or one’s meals cooked or one’s sexual drive met, but rather about constantly evaluating how to step up first to lay one’s life down for his family.” ~ Russell Moore
Love your wife as you love your own body (5:28-29), marked by nourishing & cherishing this one-flesh union. Husbands ought to love their wife in both action and affection. The covenant nature of marriage creates the environment for the connection of intimacy.
